Rich People vs. Me

Almost two weeks ago, back when I did have a job, I bussed to Montreal with a few of my friends to visit my boyfriend and his mansion. I think it's kind of ironic that his family is so wealthy and mine is the very opposite. I stepped into his home with caution, everything seemed to delicate. I was so envious of his lifestyle, although I tried to act as non-chalant about it as possible. On Sunday his family was having a little get-together for my boyfriends older brother's birthday. His whole family was there, and I could not feel more intimidated. I tried to dress as semi-formal as I could however everyone else's outfit seemed to top mine. I guess you can't fake dressing rich. I tried to look respectable, at least I accomplished that much. Anyways, we sat down at a long table to eat lunch. I was so amused by the typical rich-person chandalier that hung above the typical rich-person dinner table. I glanced around trying to look like impressed, but not too impressed. The family debated about taxes, private schools, education, politics, money, etc. All in French. I was constantly asking my boyfriend to translate the conversation for me so that I didn't feel totally useless to the conversation. I stayed attentive, even though I had no idea what they were talking about. I don't understand or speak French well. It's always been something I've wanted to learn, but never got around to doing.

Being around these people just inspired me to want to be extremely succesful. My dream is to have a big fancy blue house with white shutters and a white picket fence, with a little white mailbox, a small dog that I can carry around in a purse, and a pool. I want my kids to go to all girls or all boys private school where they have to wear uniforms, and get a really high quality education. I want to go to work every day dressed in heels and a pencil skirt and come home to a husband who brings home the same amount of money as I do for our perfect little family in our perfect house.

I sat on the germ-infested, cold bus waiting to be home. My head rest smelt like dirty, sweaty socks. I plugged my headphones in to block out the chatter coming from the stragglers that sat behind me. When I finally got back to my city, I had to sit on another bus to get home. This one wasn't nearly as bad, smelt way better that's for sure. As I walked up to my small town-house, I stopped and stood in the driveway and just looked at it for a moment. I sighed heavily, then headed inside. I opened my fridge and pulled out a tupperware that was previously meant to hold margarine, but was re-used to hold leftover spaghetti. I ripped open the lid in frustration, and slid it into the microwave. I set it for one minute, then pressed start. But it was broken.

I can imagine the look on my face when I discovered I couldn't even heat up my leftovers; disgusted crossed with unimpressed.

That was the end of my night.

Home Bound

You'd be surprised how little there is to do without spending money. I spent my entire weekend inside my house watching "Friends" because I couldn't afford to do anything else. All I can do is sit around my house and wait for Home Depot to call my house to let me know that they have a job for me. I was beginning to question my sanity, and occasionally it would respond. Being stuck inside my house for 48 hours was really taking its toll on me. 48 hours of soul-searching can really start to freak you out. My mother was off at her yoga classes all weekend, so I had the house to myself. I talked to my boyfriend on Skype for basically all of my Saturday night, he made me feel less anti-social. I'd really like to go visit him in Montreal soon, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon unless I find a way to have enough disposable income to spare on a trip. I feel bad making him come here more than I go there, but I guess for now that's the best I can do. If there's one thing I've learnt about long distance relationships, it's that they are expensive. Which is quite unfortunate for me since money is exactly what I'm missing. I really hope I get a job soon, I need the money and I need something to do in my spare time.

OC Transpo

So recently my mother let me know that she may not be able to drive me to and from school anymore because it's wasting gas money that she doesn't exactly have. This wouldn't be such a big deal to me if bus fare wasn't going to cost me a fortune that I don't have either. She let me know that she'll be able to drive me for the next two weeks but after that, I'm on my own. I quit my job about a week ago, and then used all my money to go visit my boyfriend in Montreal, which was totally worth it don't get me wrong, but it was really starting to hit me that I need money. I've been applying to jobs frequently, and even managed to get an interview at Home Depot. Although I wish I could find a job somewhere better, at this point I'm too deperate to care.

I reached out to someone who could possibly help me figure out a way to organize transportation for me to get to and from school, and not to my surprise, she was able to help me. Turns out my school offers free bus far for families who live far and don't make a lot of money. Or in my case, live far and don't make any money. My application was recently approved, and by the end of the month I will have my own bus pass.

I kind of feel like a charity case, but at the same time, so grateful. I realize that deperate times call for desperate measures, and I need to put my pride aside for this one.

Wal-Mart

My family had been having a hard time financially these days. But I never thought it wouid get this bad.

I stood outside my school, cold in my three-year-old jean jacket that was definitely not seasonal. I was waiting for my mother to come pick me up, as she usually does. She arrived late, as usual. I hopped into the car, but said nothing. She usually asks me how my day was, and I usually reply with one word. But today she didn't really say anything at all. She started driving the opposite direction of where we lived, so I asked where she was going. She said she needed to pick up a few things at the store. I was uninterested because I knew neither of us had money, so I wouldn't be getting anything.

I really wanted a new jacket. One that would actually keep me warm because the Canadian weather was slowly turning colder and colder everyday we approached winter. My mom pulled up infront of our local Wal-Mart. We usually do our groceries there, so I figured we'd finally be getting so food in our house. But no. This is when things got really weird. We started walking towards the cosmetic section first. My mom explained that she needed to buy makeup, and maybe a shirt. These are words that typically came up if we went to the mall, but never while walking into Wal-Mart.

At this point, I had somewhat accepted the fact that we had practically hit rock bottom. We were buying our sweaters at Wal-Mart. I don't care if this sounds spoiled. My whole life my family was making good money, and I never had to worry about if  I was going to have a winter jacket, and now we're shopping at Wal-Mart for something other than food. I was ashamed walking out of that building. I tried to hide my bags behind my back incase I ran into somebody I knew.

On the bright side, I got gloves for 89 cents.